Time And Relative Distractions In Space
by sherlockedbyben
Summary: The Doctor is over 1000 years old, he is the Oncoming Storm, a mighty Time Lord. He doesn't have time for social media. Unfortunately, his companions do. The Doctor should really put a ban on bringing mobile phones into the Tardis.
1. Chapter 1

"Rose?"

Somewhere, Rose could've sworn she heard someone calling her name, their voice drifting towards her in the distance.

"Rose!"

She heard it again, more desperate this time, but couldn't summon the strength to respond.

"Rose! Rose please, listen to me. Rose!"

She snapped her head up, finally giving in to the insistent cries.

"What?" She huffed in annoyance, turning her gaze back to her plate of crispy, golden chips, smothered with just the right amount of ketchup to look artistic. She cursed under her breath as she looked at the picture she had just taken. Perfect angle, but slightly blurred.

"Ros-"

"Bloody hell, Doctor!" She exclaimed agitatedly. "I had the perfect shot and then you went and ruined it!"

"Rose, we've got to go. This planet implodes in three minu-"

"This isn't good enough for instagram, I'm going to have to take another."

"Rose," The Doctor snatched her phone out of her hands and stuffed it deep into the pockets of his brown trench coat. He fixed her a stern glare and pointed in the direction of the door. "Tardis. Now."

"Fine," She sighed, standing up reluctantly. "I'll just have to filter it then."

She stalked off ahead of the Time Lord, head held high.

"Tardis is this way, Rose."


	2. Chapter 2

Clara yelped and stuggled not to trip over her own feet as the Doctor dragged her along by the hand at a quick pace. Her breath came in quick gasps as they began to climb the steep hill in front of them at a run. She looked up at their destination, the top of the hill where the Tardis sat waiting.

"Not much further, Clara, we can make it!" The Doctor struggled to adjust his bowtie with one hand and held onto Clara with the other.

She chanced a quick look over her shoulder at the imposing threat. A huge fleet of Sontarans were pummelling the earth beneath their feet as the ran towards them, looming ever closer.

Clara looked ahead again, they had almost reached the summit.

"Doctor, wait!" She cried frantically, tugging on his hand and bringing him to a halt.

"What?!" He yelled, eyes wide as he looked worriedly at the large group of Sontarans just behind them. "What is it?!"

Clara was already one step ahead, taking out her mobile phone from her small clutch purse she carried with her at all times.

"Crowd selfie!" She shouted, pulling the Doctor closer to her. "Come on, Chin Boy. Get in!"

"Clara we-"

"Duck face it is then!" Clara exclaimed, pouting and taking a picture of the two of them with the group of angry Sontarans in the background before the Time Lord could protest.

"Oh, for Rassilon's sake, Clara!" The Doctor rolled his eyes and dragged her into the Tardis.


	3. Chapter 3

"Clara? Claraaaaa?"

The Doctor snapped his hands in front of his companions face as she stared at her phone, tapping away at a hundred miles a minute.

"Hmm, what?" Clara looked up, slightly dazed. "Get your hand out of my face, Chin Boy!"

"You've been staring at your phone and laughing all day!" The Doctor whined. "Honestly, we're on a planet that is basically just one major city, the rain is orange, and the citizens resemble giant frogs! Why aren't you paying attent- Oi! You're doing it again!"

"What?" Clara looked up from her phone, the ghost of a laugh still on her face after reading the words on the small screen. Her eyes moved past the Doctor to something over his shoulder and she gasped in delight, letting out a loud guffaw. "Oh my _God!_ This is definitely tweetworthy!"

The Doctor looked over his shoulder to see one of the unsuspecting frog citizens strolling past, wearing a fluorescent pink hat complete with matching bowtie. The Doctor had to admit, the bowtie was cool.

"Right that's it," He snatched Clara's phone away from her, ignoring her indignant cries. He found himself strolling down her twitter feed and began reading her tweets. "Let's see what's so funny..."

_**"Just connected to the wifi! Get innnn!"**_

_**"Casual day with the Doctor, raving it up on another planet. Bants and lols are being had!"**_

_**"All the people here are frogs... LOL moment!"**_

_**"Omg... I think a frog man just flirted with me! Wtf!"**_

_**"Why is the rain orange? I bet you guys all think I'm crazy, but I s2g I really am on a different planet!"**_

_**"The Doc is wearing his red and yellow polka dot bowtie again... That man lol."**_

_**"Omg I'm starving but the food here looks like slime."**_

_**"The Doctor won't stop talking about the history of this planet... all I want to do is go shopping. OMG."**_

_**"This whole planet is one big city. Every girls dream xoxox."**_

_**"I'm bored. Someone tweet me!"**_

_**"Omg that frog man is wearing a pink hat and bowtie! Lmao!"**_

The Doctor sighed and handed her back her phone.

"Next time, I'm taking you somewhere where there's no wifi connection."


	4. Chapter 4

"Ouch- Clara!"

The Doctor flinched at the flash from the camera phone in Clara's hands. Clara lowered the phone slightly, frowned and moved to a different angle, snappping another photo.

"What are you doing? Get that thing out of my face!"

"Ooooh Scottish accent. I think I like it," Clara nodded approvingly at the Doctor's new tone of voice. Regeneration into this new body hadn't been easy, and Clara was still finding it hard to believe that the silver haired, older looking man was in fact, that same person as her Chin Boy Doctor. She was dealing with the change in her own way.

She took another photo, this time from a different angle.

"Okay Gramps, tilt your head slighty- No not that way- Yeah, yeah that's the one!"

She paused, taking a look at the picture she had already taken, an approving smile beginning to form on her face.

"These are definitely going for the scrapbook!" She yelled excitedly. "I can't wait to show Dad!"

"What are you doing, Clara? Why are you-"

"Oh my God!" She double up laughing as she took another picture. "This is going to be histerical! Come here, get into a picture with me!"

Clara shoved herself up beside him and pulled a confused face, pointing a finger at the Doctor and making sure to get the Tardis console in the background. She took a look and creased up with laughter.

"Alright, this one can't wait. I'm sending it to him right now! He's never going to believe that you just sneezed and changed into a middle aged Scottish man!"

"Clara you can't just- Give that to me!"

The Doctor, although considerably older, still had good reflexes. He swiftly snatched the phone away from Clara and stared at the message on the screen, the photo attached.

_**"Hey, Dad! U'll never guess what! U know that bloke I travel with? The one that turned up to Christmas dinner naked? Lol, I know right. But omg anyway, he totally just sneezed and turned into a middle aged Scotsman! LOL. Much love, Clara xxx."**_

The Doctor took a look at the picture of the two of them attached to the message. His eyes widened in horror.

"No, no no NO!" He growled. "You can't send that!"

"Why not?" Clara pouted in disappointment.

"I blinked, take another."


	5. Chapter 5

_"Doctor!"_

The Doctor flinched at the shout and ran a hand through his messy brown hair. He had prepared for this day for a long time now, and he knew, deep in his hearts that it was time. His hearts hammered against his chest as Rose stormed into the control room, brandishing her phone in the air agitatedly.

"S'happened with the wifi?" She demanded, folding her arms across her chest and fixing the Time Lord with a stern glare. "Why am I not connecting to it?"

The Doctor heaved a reluctant sigh. "Rose, I disabled it."

"You _what?!"_ Rose gaped at the Doctor in shock.

"You're always on your phone, always _twittering_ and _facepalming_-"

"Tweeting! And it's called Facebook, Doctor."

"Right," The Doctor had the dignity to look sheepish. "Well, I had to put a stop to it."

"Tell me the wifi password."

Rose's tone was menacing as she took a step towards him.

"Rose, I can't. It's for your own goo-"

"Tell me the wifi password or I'll..."

"You'll what?" The Doctor smiled smugly.

"I'll unfriend you on Facebook."

The threat was spoken so quietly that it was barely a whisper, but it sent a chill through the Doctor's bones and a feeling of sickening dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

"You wouldn't dare," The breathed, trembling slightly.

"I'll go to my mums," Rose held up her phone and raised an eyebrow challengingly. "I'll connect to _her_ wifi and then I'll go on Facebook. Then two little clicks, that's all it takes."

"Rose..."

"Two clicks. One to unfriend you," Rose paused for effect. "and one to confirm that I _really_ want to unfriend you."

The Doctor slumped to the ground, head in his hands in despair.

"doctorandrose4ever," He muttered, face flushing with shame. "That's the new password."


	6. Chapter 6

"Clara!" The Doctor attempted to drag his companion away from the treacherous falling rocks hitting the surface of the dying star. "Clara, this is the beginnings of a supernova, do you realise what that means?!"

"Yeah, yeah," Clara remained rooted to the spot, taking pictures of the swirling nebulas above them. "A star at that end of it's life, depending on mass, either explodes into a supernova or becomes a black hole. I googled it."

"Well," The Doctor raised his almost non-existent eyebrows in surprise. "We still have to leave right now!"

"Whatever," Clara huffed as she was dragged to the Tardis by the Time Lord.

"Now," The Doctor smiled as he tapped away at the Tardis controls. "I think we're safe."

Clara giggled and bounded up beside him, opening her mouth in a wide grin and pointing at the surprised Time Lord as she snapped a picture of the two.

"Status update!" She exclaimed, tapping away on her phone and posting the picture. "This is definitly one for Facebook."

She spoke slowly as she typed the words.

_**"Looking at a supernova = cool. Standing on top of an exploding supernova = not cool! Back home safely thanks to this man!"**_

The Doctor grumbled at his giggling companion.

"Screw this. I'm just going to take you to the cinema next time."


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor jumped up from the console at the piercing scream. Fear flooded him and he raced through the many corridors of his ship, searching for his firey haired companion.

"Doctor!"

"I'm coming, Donna!" He yelled, hoping that she was alright.

He burst into her room to find her sitting on the bed, fist in her mouth as she attempted to contain her squeals.

The Doctor gaped at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong!"_ Donna cried, a wide smile on her face, looking about to jump for joy. "Ninety eight likes on my profile picture, Doctor! I'm nearly at one hundred!"

The Doctor sighed. "Donna, I hardly think that's a reason to-"

"Oh," Donna clutched at her chest dramatically, her breath beginning to come in short, sharp gasps. "Oh my _God_!"

"Donna, are you okay?" The Doctor asked frantically, concerned for his companion.

Donna flailed her arms about wildly as she tried to explain.

"Da- Davros," She wheezed, letting out an excited scream.

"Davros?!" The Doctor grabbed her phone, staring at the screen in alarm. "What's he done?!"

"He just poked me!" Donna squealed. "D'you think this means he's into me?"

"Poked you wha- Donna, why would you want the creator to the Daleks to be interested in you?!"

"Duh," Donna rolled her eyes. "More followers on Twitter, get with the program, Spaceman."


	8. Chapter 8

"Doctor, what's wrong?" Amy asked, touching the Doctor's arm lightly in concern.

"Nothing," He murmured. "Just thinking."

"About her, isn't it?" Amy nodded knowingly. She turned to her husband. "Rory, he's thinking about Rose again."

"So that's what's wrong," Rory muttered. "Why didn't you say?"

"It's hard for me to talk about," The Doctor whispered, wringing his hands together. "I just feel so _guilty._ She was lost, ripped away and trapped in a parallel universe and now I can never see her again."

The Doctor was not prepared for the unexpected scoff that came out of Amy's mouth. She rolled her eyes and gave him a shove.

"For God sake, Doctor!" She sighed exasperatedly. "Just bloody Facetime her!"

"I beg your pardon?" The Doctor gaped at her.

"Look," Amy yelled, taking out her phone and tapping on the screen. "If I can just connect... Ah, hiya, Rose!"

"Who're you?!"

The Doctor jumped up at the familiar voice and plopped his face in front of the screen to see his former companion. "Rose?!"

"Doctor!" Rose cried joyously. "You bought a new face!"

The Doctor snatched the phone away from Amy and left the room, chatting animatedly to Rose Tyler.

Three days later he still refused the end the call and Amy had decided that it was best for her to just buy a new phone.


	9. Chapter 9

Clara was baking. The Doctor could tell the moment he stepped outside the Tardis control room and noticed the sweet scent of soufflé wafting down the corridor. He followed his nose and poked his head around the kitchen door, pleasantly surprised when he realised the his Soufflé Girl had not burned anything for once.

"I did it, Doctor!" She grinned upon his arrival, oven gloves on as she took the soufflé from the oven. "I made the perfect soufflé!"

The Doctor grinned, grabbing a fork and approaching the perfect creation. "Great! I bet it tastes amaz-"

"Doctor!" Clara shrieked, pulling the soufflé out of his grasp in outrage. "What do you think you're doing?!"

The Doctor stared at her, mouth open in surprise.

"Well, I was going to eat it," He frowned in confusion.

"Doctor, this isn't for eating!" She exclaimed, clearing a space on the table and placing the soufflé down carefully. "This is for instagram!"

She whipped out her iPhone and positioned herself so that she found the perfect angle, tilting the device slightly upwards. She squealed joyously at the picture.

"Ooooh perfect! No filter needed!" She cried. "Now for the hashtags! Help me, Doctor."

"Clara..." The Doctor took a step towards the inviting soufflé but Clara stood in front of it protectively.

"Not until I get a good picture from at least three different angles!" She ordered, poking her tongue out from between her teeth as she concentrated on her phone. "#soufflé, #bakingwiththedoc, #happydays, #instahub, #lols, #oopstheresflourinmyhair, #yum, #food, #perfectsoufflé, #victorious!"

The Doctor sighed forlornly and exited the room, leaving the cold soufflé and Clara to themselves.


	10. Chapter 10

"Rose?"

The ninth incarnation of the Doctor tugged on his leather jacket, striding into the control room in search of his companion who he hadn't seen for a few hours now.

"Rose, there you ar- What are you _doing?!_"

The Doctor hurried back, letting out a strangled cry at the sight of Rose's face, distorted into a manic expression as she crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue at an unnatural angle. The Doctor's hearts hammered in his chest. What if she had caught some sort of infectious disease?

He rushed over to his blond companion, grabbing her face between his hands, fear running through him.

"Oi!" Rose's face smoothed out from it's previous distorted expression as she looked up at him in annoyance. "Get off, ya big lump! Get out of my picture!"

"Pic- Picture?" The Doctor took a step back, bewildered.

"Yeah," She looked at him as if he was stupid, something the Time Lord was not accustomed to. "Snapchat, you daft alien! I'm snapping Mickey!"

The Doctor gaped at her. "But why the face?!"

"You never take a pretty snapchat, Doctor," Rose sighed, rolling her eyes. "Where's the fun in that!"

She gazed at the screen and let out a loud laugh, clamping her hand over her mouth as her eyes danced with mirth.

"Oh, I am so screenshotting this!" She grinned, tongue poking out from between her teeth.

"Snapchat?" The Doctor mumbled, scratching the back of his head in confusion. He left the laughing Rose Tyler to her phone as he went to the Tardis library.

"Okay, Old Girl," He addressed his Tardis, scanning through the covers of various books. "Show me something that explains the term, 'Snapchatting'."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys, haven't updated this for a while but inspiration struck when I finally watched The Fault In Our Stars yesterday! :D It's amazing! Anyway, I hope you like this and I hope it makes you smile :) If you have the time, please leave a review to let me know what you think and if I should continue with this :) thanks!**

* * *

The Doctor stiffened at the sound of hushed whimpers and stifled sobs emitting from a room not far down the corridor of the Tardis.

"Clara," The alien gasped, immediately rushing to her aid to see what was the matter.

He threw open the door to find his small companion curled up in a plush armchair, choked breaths coming from her every few seconds. Her eyes were red and raw, a sure sign that she had been crying. The Doctor approached cautiously, his eyes falling on the book in his quivering hands, the book she had been non-stop reading fro days now, refusing to go on any more adventures before she finished it: The Fault In Our Stars.

The Doctor hadn't read it before. He didn't see what the big deal was.

"Clara," He began slowly, eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red."

"My eyes?" Clara looked up from her book, a slightly manic look in her eyes as she blinked back tears. "Oh, they're good. They're not in my head, that's the only problem."

"What?" The Doctor said as Clara left the room.

He found her in the kitchen a few hours later, led there by the aroma of thick black smoke that was currently gushing from the oven all the way down to the control room.

"Clara!" He yelled, throwing a pitcher full of water over the startled girl as she frowned at the burnt souffle in her hands, quenching the flames rising from the pastry.

"Doctor!" Clara exclaimed, rushing to the counter where her book was set. "You could've got my book wet, you idiot!"

"Clara," the Doctor sighed heavily, looking at the mess around them. "Another soufflé, really? What were you thinking?!"

"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations," Clara whispered, clutching her book to her chest and running from the room, leaving a bewildered Doctor to clear up the mess.

"What?" He said again.

The next time he found her, she was curled up in a ball on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she mumbled something about August.

"Clara, it's May... But I can take us to somewhere where it's August if you like," The Doctor piped up hopefully, patting her back comfortingly.

"You don't understand!" Clara sobbed. "I'm finished the book!"

"Well..." The Doctor frowned. For once, he was completely at a loss for what to do. "Clara... It's just a book."

Clara stopped sobbing. For a moment, the Doctor wasn't quite sure if she was even breathing.

"Just a book?" She muttered threateningly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just a book?!"

The Doctor leapt up from the bed in fear as Clara yelled at him, a murderous look in her eyes.

"You're almost as bad as Peter Van Houten!"

The Doctor escaped from the room, a pillow whizzing past his head as he caught his breath.

"What?"

He made a mental note not to question Clara about her reaction to books again.


	12. Chapter 12

Clara Oswald sat at the table in the small café, her finger tapping insistently against the wood as she stared out the window.

The Doctor looked up from the newspaper he was skimming through and ran a hand through his short grey hair with a loud sigh.

"What is wrong with you now?" He huffed, resisting the urge to grab her hand and stopping her fingers from drumming.

"Nothing," Clara bit her lip, her fingers beginning to tap faster of their own accord.

"Clara Oswald, will you stop looking at your phone like it's going to explode!" The Doctor burst out in exasperation.

"You don't _understand!_" Clara hissed back, snatching her phone out of his reach and staring at it forlornly. "He opened it _and didn't reply._"

"What?" The Doctor frowned so hard his eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Have you lost your mind or have I?

"He opened my Snapchat and didn't reply, Doctor, do you know what this means!" Clara burst out, drawing the attention of some disgruntled customers.

"That he doesn't like you," The Doctor shrugged. "Don't ask me, Clara, I'm not up to date with all this new-fangled nonsense. I don't even know what a Chapsnat is. Who is 'he' anyway?"

"Strax!" Clara exploded with annoyance. "We're supposed to be _friends._ I sent him the funniest face I could make and he didn't even bother to- Oh. Oh my God."

"What?" The Doctor sat up a little straighter, starting to feel concerned. Clara was white as a ghost and looked fit to faint. "What is it, Clara?"

Clara Oswald looked up at the Doctor, trembling in terror as she choked out her reply.

"He screenshotted."


End file.
